Wednesday, August 25, 2010

"Something is always going wrong, isn't it?"

Well. I'm sitting in my nice chilly hotel room in Oklahoma, after already having read my book, watched a movie, taken a nap, packed for tomorrow, and mixed my drinks (lemonade accelerade). What's left to do? Blog, of course.

Tomorrow, US Nationals starts. My goal is to race my best. I know I am still on the road to recovery and I shouldn't expect PRs from myself. Frustrating? Absolutely. But it's been the hardest year of my life!

Let's see. Last September, I went through a devastating breakup while enduring months of the stress of impending big changes in our governing body. Because the changes would directly affect where I could live, train, and go to school it was unbelievably hard to stay focused and positive on a day-to-day basis. In November, I got very sick and was hospitalized with something that is yet un-diagnosed but I know is triggered by stress. After being in the hospital for 4 days and missing my ski trip to Utah, I got to come home in time for Christmas. In February I went back to California with the intention of putting my illness behind me and making the World Cup Team, and only had relapse after relapse.

Finally, I came to terms with the fact I was physically and mentally unwell; because I was completely unable to train, I made the heart-wrenching decision to go home and rest for awhile. At home I took up canoe racing (because I'm bad at resting), and I trained as much as my body would allow (not much!) In May, just two weeks before the 70-miler, I was thrown out of the boat during a race in rough water and dislocated my shoulder. I couldn't race the 70-miler for which I'd been training, and I had to stop lifting, stop paddling, and start grueling physical therapy for the umpteenth time in my life. All this time I was still having mini-relapses of illness which caused me to stay in bed for a few days at a time.

A few weeks after my shoulder dislocation (around mid-June) I was back in my kayak and began to carefully train for US Nationals. 10 weeks later, here I am, excited to race for the first time in a year and put some of these setbacks behind me for good.

It was a rough year. Nothing went the way I'd planned. I'm certainly not as fast as I was a year ago before the tumult started. But I'm on the upswing, and I'm not backing down. This is my journey; I'm proud of it!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow- had no idea you went through all that - to be sitting in a room in OK to race is amazing. Talk about experience all the emotions imaginable. You are brave to share your story.
Thank you!

canoeracer17 said...

There will be other 70s. Glad you're going fast in a kayak again!